Humor Me – Biblical Trivia

I like to end the year with laughter and hope you do as well. Sooooo, laugh it up as you try to answer these questions about some of the Biblical trivia – try not to groan too loudly.☺

What is Yahweh’s Rubber Ducky? 
Leviathan, whom Yahweh formed to play in the ocean for sport and who can be churning up white foam in the sea! (Job 41:1-34)

Leviathan? That thing that humans are so scared about? Guess what? Yahweh created Leviathan to sport in the sea. “To sport” means “to play” or “to frolic” or “to amuse.” In others words, that giant monster, the one you’ve been so afraid of…? It’s Yahweh’s pet, Yahweh’s plaything. It’s a creature Yahweh created solely for fun and amusement. In other words, great big alpha Leviathan is Yahweh’s great big…rubber ducky.

Think of the theological significance of that. It means the ocean is Yahweh’s great big bathtub and Leviathan is God’s water toy. Just imagine: Yahweh, like a child, sitting in a tub, bubbles in hair, giggling, laughing away, playing with the world’s largest rubber ducky!

Who is the “Shortest” Man in the Bible?
Here’s a hint – the shortest man is NOT: Knee-High-Miah (Nehemiah), Small Jacob, short Zacchaeus, Nicodemus the ruler, or the those standing/sleeping on their watch!

Small or Short Contenders
• How can Jacob stand? He is so small!” (Amos 7:2)
• A man was there named Zacchaeus; he was a chief tax collector and was rich. He was trying to see who Jesus was, but on account of the crowd he could not, because he was short. (Luke 19:2-3)
• Now there was a man of the Pharisees, named Nicodemus, a ruler of the Jews. (John 3:1)

Men Standing On or Keeping Their Watch
• The very night before Herod was going to bring him out, Peter, bound with two chains, was sleeping between two soldiers, while guards in front of the door were standing watch. (Acts 12:6)
• When the centurion and those with him, who were standing watch over Jesus, saw the earthquake and what took place, they were terrified and said, “Truly this man was God’s Son!” (Mathew 27:54)
• “Simon Peter, are you asleep? Could you not keep watch for one hour?” (Mathew 26:40, Mark 14:37)

And the winner is:
Bildad the Shoe Height
Then Bildad the Shuhite answered (Job 2:11, 8:1, 18:1, 25:1, 42:9). . . . groan

Notable Occupational Groaners
Why is Yahweh the best laundry attendant?
Because he begins by separating the light from the dark.

We know that the Apostle Paul was a tent maker. What was his other occupation?”
A Baker of course, The Bible says he went to “Fill a Pie” (Phillipi).

How do we know Peter was a rich fisherman?
By his net income.

What do they call pastors in Germany?
German Shepherds.

Why were Peter, Andrew, James, and John the best letter writers?
Because as fishermen they learned to use the “net” and drop a line.

Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?
Samson. He brought the house down at his last gig.

Who is the greatest babysitter mentioned in the Bible?
David. He rocked Goliath to sleep.

Surprise, Surprise, Surprise
Why was Goliath so surprised when David hit him with a stone from his slingshot?
Nothing like this had ever entered his head before. (1 Samuel 17:49)

Why was Sisera surprised when Jael had him secured?
He thought – “Why is this warm milk giving me a splitting headache, nothing like that has ever entered my mind before!” He was killed by Jael driving a tent peg into his head. Can one say: “She didn’t just have his number; she had him pegged!” (Judges 4:1-23).

And This Year’s Final Groaners
What kind of man was Boaz before he got married?
Ruth-less.

Who was the first drug addict in the Bible?
Nebuchadnezzar. He was on grass for seven years.

Who was the most ancient person in the Bible?
Pharaoh – just ask his mummy.

(I couldn’t resist . . . .  :-)
Did you hear about the angel that died?
He died of harp failure.

Final Thought for 2023
The stage for Yeshua’s return is being set. Prophecy continues to unfold in an escalating pattern as foretold by the Hebrew prophets. The season of the birth pains is here – they are burgeoning and not going away. Time is short – Yeshua Ha’Mashiach is coming soon – be sure you have salvation in Yeshua and keep busy reaching the lost.